Party pon de farm
Jun 26, 2026
Dem Boys Seh…
(Kaieteur News) – Dem boys seh something strange happen down in de farmyard last week. Cow and chicken decide to throw a party. Not because business good. Not because price go up. But because, for once in dem life, bad economics start to look like retirement plan.
The cow was first to raise a glass of stale molasses water. “Me brethren,” he announce, “we finally reach de good life. No more slaughter house. No more butcher man sharpening knife and pretending he doing maintenance on de gate. Brazilian beef so cheap, nobody even looking at we sideways again.”
The chicken clap he wings like he win lottery. “Talk it!” he seh. “Me used to hear footsteps and think is the end. Now is peace and quiet. Man passing me pen and saying, ‘nah, Brazilian chicken cheaper.’ Me never know rejection could feel so sweet.”
So dem celebrate. The goat bring vibes. The donkey provide unsolicited commentary as usual. Even the pig start dancing like he invent happiness.
The cow lean back under a mango tree. “Me feel like pensioner already,” he seh. “Long service award without the service ending in soup.”
The chicken nod. “Me too. Me old age secure. Nobody want me. Me too expensive to pluck. So me just… existing.”
But as the party get sweeter, a silence creep in. The kind of silence that does come before a farmer start calculating bills.
The cow lower he voice. “Eh… but who feeding we now though?”
The chicken stop mid-dance. “True talk. If nobody buying we, farmer pocket empty. If farmer pocket empty… we grass ration go start looking like public servant pay.
The cow look around the yard. “So we retire… but we still employed?”
Dem boys seh the farmer walking past that moment, scratching he head like a man doing mental arithmetic with no numbers. He mutter, “Imports cheap, market dead, feed expensive…”
The cow whisper to the chicken, “If he stop feeding we, we might get de retirement package early… very early.”
The chicken answer, “Boy, this is de only pension plan where de beneficiaries still got to worry about lunch.”
So the party continue—but now with caution. Because in this fastest growing economy, even retirement come with feeding uncertainty, and happiness got to share space with hunger.
Talk half. Leff half.
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