DEAR MISS MANNERS: Six of us were at dinner in a nice restaurant. At a nearby table for two sat a man and a woman, who appeared to be grownups, rather than teenagers in their first relationships.
During this couple’s nice dinner out, their mutual attraction apparently got the better of them. The man had his hand COMPLETELY up the woman’s skirt and she had her hand INSIDE his shirt. There was activity during the entire course of our meal.
Half of the people at our round table had a constant, full view of the goings-on and were repulsed and distracted, while the other half of our table was extremely curious about what was so distracting to our tablemates. We left as soon as we had finished dinner.
What is the appropriate thing to do in this case? Do you tell the manager that this activity is not restaurant-appropriate? Or do you comment over your shoulder and suggest that they “get a room”?
We did nothing but leave, feeling like our enjoyable evening had been cut short by their amorous behavior.
GENTLE READER: If you are going to say anything, then Miss Manners presumes you would prefer one of three resolutions: making the couple stop, embarrassing the couple, or embarrassing the restaurant manager if they cannot effect one of the previous two outcomes.
She mentions this because looking silly and ineffectual yourself do not make the list, though they are the most likely outcome of telling the couple to get a room or having to explain what you mean by restaurant-appropriate when the manager arrives to investigate.
If you are unwilling to simply look the other way, she suggests asking if you can be moved to another table, even though you are halfway through your meal. This request will scandalize the restaurant manager far more than one customer having his hand up another customer’s skirt. They will be unwilling — and possibly unable — to comply, but they will know you are serious. They will therefore have to either speak with the couple or in some way try to make the rest of your meal more palatable.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I am given a compliment, I always say “thank you,” but I am not sure how to respond when others say kind things to me about my child. I feel more grateful for kind comments about him than those about me, but it feels odd to treat the compliment as though I can take credit for it by saying “thank you.” Agreement feels like bragging. Help?
GENTLE READER: It is not bragging because you are responding to what someone else said.
But also, what else can you do? Disagree? If it helps, Miss Manners recommends thinking of the times when you have, or will, have to accept responsibility for junior’s misdeeds.
