DEAR MISS MANNERS: A sibling has disclosed that they and their spouse have been nudists for years, and intend to retire and move to a clothing-optional community.
I have no objection to their lifestyle choice if it makes them happy, but I have no desire to partake of said lifestyle.
How does one respond to an invitation to visit in those circumstances? If I don’t go there, I will hardly ever see them, since they rarely travel.
They assure me that it is a wholesome, family-oriented community, nothing sexual about it, but that’s not my idea of a good time.
GENTLE READER: Surely you are not the only people in these nudists’ lives having this reaction.
Miss Manners suggests you bring the problem to them. Tell them that you have no judgment of their proposed lifestyle, just as you are sure that they have none for your reluctance to join them in it. Perhaps you can meet in that optional middle? Geographically, rather than half-dressed, would of course be preferable.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have received no acknowledgment for the substantial gift that I sent to a grandniece for her graduation. No text, no phone call, no written note.
How rude would you consider it if I were to send her a box of girly thank-you notes with one stamped and addressed to myself?
GENTLE READER: Why girly? Does that, in your mind, add extra insult?
Sorry, Miss Manners is focusing on the wrong thing. As infuriated as you might be not to be acknowledged for a present at any price point, you still may not openly admonish your grandniece.
You may, however, ask the girl’s parents if she received it — which, in a perfect and polite world, would prompt them to apologize profusely and get her to write a letter at once.
In lieu of that, you may elect not to give presents in the future, which would perhaps teach her the lesson over the long run. Or you could give her that stationery as a totally unrelated present after a period of time — as long as the addressed and stamped one is not included. The relative girliness is up to you.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a next-door neighbor I do not want to associate with, unless for reasons of the safety of their home or person. She was texting me far too much, even after I told her that I only use texts for practical purposes — not to socialize.
A couple months ago, I blocked her number from my phone and felt great relief. But now little gifts are popping up on my porch with little notes!
I have resolved to simply ignore this and avoid bumping into her, but wanted to ask your advice.
GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, now you need to thank her for the little gifts. Miss Manners suggests you write her a note that is appreciative, but graciously tells her that presents are unnecessary. And then sign it by saying you hope she has a wonderful ___ (insert long period of time — like summer, or the rest of the year). You should also probably leave the note at her door when you know she will be absent.
