DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a college student at a small, private art school, and work part-time at the school’s reception desk, receiving and directing phone calls and visitors. When dealing with rude and polite callers alike, I greet them with a pleasant tone and promptly answer their questions to the best of my ability.

What concerns me are the overly chatty callers — those who insist on lengthily greeting me, inquiring about my day, joking around, explaining how they came to realize they needed to call, etc., before finally reaching the point of the call or giving me the name or extension they want.

I understand that they are merely trying to be kind and brighten my day, and I appreciate their friendliness, but often I have other callers on hold or visitors waiting at the desk. I patiently wait through the person’s spiel, as I would never dream of interrupting.

Is this chatty attitude appropriate for a strictly business call? Or, if so, should it be reserved for the person you have business with, instead of their receptionist? When I make business calls of my own, I tend to politely say hello and ask for the person I need to speak with, of course adding a please and thank you. Am I being too curt, and should I inquire about the person’s day?

GENTLE READER: The balance between efficiency and pleasantness in doing business seems extremely hard to achieve. Totally ignoring the humanity of both worker and customer is rude, and yet both parties are interested in getting on with whatever the transaction is.

Miss Manners remembers when banks started claiming to be their clients’ friends. What this has led to is mandating employees to start conversations — the current cliche is asking what the client is doing for the rest of the day — that are both intrusive and time-consuming.

Many Gentle Readers have complained to her about this. Yet they would probably appreciate being recognized as returning customers, for example, or just being greeted by someone who is not surly.

You are experiencing the reverse of this problem, with callers feeling they must chat you up. Or perhaps, as you are a student, your fellow students think it is an opportunity to make friends.

So you must not encourage this by prolonging the small talk. The phrase you want, repeated as often as necessary, is “But tell me how I can help you.”

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: Does putting “RSVP” on an invitation denote that the recipient is requested to reply no matter whether they are attending or not, or does one only need to RSVP if they plan to attend?

I sent out about 40 invitations and nearly half of the recipients did not send any kind of acknowledgment or response. I assume/hope they are not coming!

I was under the impression that RSVP meant you should indicate your intentions regardless. Is this incorrect? Is there a more clear way to communicate to invitees that the host would appreciate a response even if negative?

GENTLE READER: For those who failed high school French, RSVP translates to “please respond,” whether yes or no. Perhaps you would do better putting your request in English.