DEAR MISS MANNERS: In my senior year of high school, I got pregnant, and back in those times, I was not allowed to graduate. I married my child’s father and raised two children with him. We were divorced many years later, mostly because we had not finished growing up when we married.
I did go on to attend classes at a local community college, and later married another man. We had 30 wonderful years together, and were very successful in our marriage, our life and with the multiple businesses we built together. I have been blessed with wonderful children and grandchildren, all of whom either have successful careers or are college-bound.
A high school friend, who married and lives well, cannot see me without bringing up, in some fashion, that I did not graduate when we were in high school. At a reunion, her comment in the group where I was standing was, “Oh, you had a child by the time you were 18.” I smiled and said, “Yes, I did.”
I have no idea why she refuses to let go of this — and how does it affect her life, anyway? Truthfully, I feel it is her problem, not mine.
Because we attend common interest functions, I see her three or four times a year. I’m certain that Miss Manners would not wish for me to be terribly forward with her, but after 50 years, I’ve had enough.
GENTLE READER: Next time she points out your history, try saying, “Yes, you mention that frequently. Is there a reason? Is everything OK in your family?”
Although she may not be willing to admit it, this woman is likely dissatisfied with her own choices and trying to make herself feel better in comparison — or wondering why your life turned out so well.
In any case, Miss Manners agrees that it is her problem, not yours. And politely acting as such and showing concern will have the added benefit of only annoying her more.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
