Dear Annie: I’ve been married nearly 40 years. My wife’s father has passed, and her 81-year-old mother still lives on the family farm. My wife is on a loan her mother took out to buy part of that farm, and she handles everything for my mother-in-law. One of her brothers lives in the farmhouse and is a slob. He won’t take off work to take their mother to appointments, so my wife does that, too.

Now she wants to build a house on the farm next to her brother. In October 2024, she survived a “widowmaker” heart attack and had a stent placed. Her brother had a valve replaced in his heart in 2018 but is healthy now. I’m almost 62, disabled due to heart issues and a stroke, and I have COPD. If we move to the farm, I worry I’ll be responsible for maintaining three acres of land (mowing, burning the fields, etc.) and cleaning up after her brother. I’d also have no legal right to stay if she dies first, and we would have to sell our current home, which is in both our names.