Dear Abby: Woman rekindles old friendship that turned into secret affair

Dear Abby: Widow considers dating months after husband’s death but fears judgment
October 22, 2025

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Dear Abby: Woman rekindles old friendship that turned into secret affair

Dear Abby: In high school, I had a friend who constantly told me he loved me. I never returned the feelings. We remained friends through high school, college and early adulthood. We married others and had children, occasionally popping into each other’s lives.

Four years ago, we started texting a lot — probably 100 times a day. Two years ago, we met up (we live in different states now and met halfway) and started a sexual relationship. For 18 months we met once a month. The sex is awesome. Conversations are amazing. Then we stopped. For the next six months we both worked on our marriages. Neither of us is happy.

Two months ago, we started meeting again. I think I’m falling in love with him. I think he loves me, but I also don’t think he will leave his family. We have known each other for 40 years. We know the sex is so good, but we are also such good friends. What should I do?

— RECONNECTED IN THE MIDWEST

Dear Reconnected: You and this man are mature adults. Ask him where he sees your love affair going. Does he plan to continue the status quo, or does he plan to leave his family? If he is as good a friend as you feel he is, he will give you an honest answer, and you will know what to do.

See all “Dear Abby” columns

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2025, Andrews McMeel Syndication.

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