Dear Abby: I’m getting married soon and I am very excited. It is a true blessing. I love my fiancée very much, and I’m happy to spend the rest of my life with her. I have one concern, though, and it is about her daughters. They are great girls. Both are teenagers. I have told them I will be whatever they want me to be, trying not to force any kind of relationship on them that they are not ready to have. My problem is, I am their teacher at the high school.

I have excellent relationships with both girls, but in an effort to make things as comfortable for them at school as I can, I have distanced myself from the other students. I have become grumpier, and I’m quickly becoming the teacher with a lot of homework that all the students dislike. I was always the “nice” teacher, so this is a big change for me. However, I have done it because the girls are grateful for it. The “meaner” I am at school, the better my relationship with the girls is at home.

The other girls in their classes gossip a lot, and they have said some disturbing things about me to the girls because I am marrying their mom. Am I doing the right thing? I’m beginning to be unhappy at work, but it is making my home life very nice with my brand-new family.

— Professor Mean In The West

Dear Professor Mean: The right thing? Have you discussed this cockamamie plan with your principal? What is positive about going from being liked by your students to distancing yourself in order to turn your fiancée’s daughters into teacher’s pets? If this continues, they will be social pariahs. You should not have to choose between being popular at school or liked by your soon-to-be stepdaughters. In just a few years, they’ll be out of the house, and you will be the most disliked teacher at the school if you are still employed there.

Read more Dear Abby and other advice columns.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.