Dear Abby: I’m losing weight, eating healthier so I can live longer. Why is family sabotaging me?

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June 6, 2025

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Dear Abby: I’m losing weight, eating healthier so I can live longer. Why is family sabotaging me?

“I have dedicated myself to explicitly following my doctor’s directions to eat organic and low-fat foods and to exercise daily to improve my liver.”Pixel-Shot – stock.adobe.com

DEAR ABBY: I am struggling with a recent diagnosis of severe liver disease (non-alcoholic) and need to lose 30 pounds.

I have had two bouts of cancer in five years as well as arthritis. I have dedicated myself to explicitly following my doctor’s directions to eat organic and low-fat foods and to exercise daily to improve my liver. I face surgery in the next few months.

I live with family members who claim to be supportive yet get angry when I turn down invitations to all-you-can-eat buffets, buttered popcorn at movies, fast food and pastries. One stormed off when I turned down a visit to a deli for a huge salami sandwich! I politely said I wasn’t hungry, which was true. After this argument, I lost focus. I stopped weighing myself daily and began backsliding.

I am no longer hopeful about improving my health. These family members are well aware of my diagnosis because they were present at the medical consultation. How can I stay strong without moving out? It is my house! — SICK AND TIRED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SICK AND TIRED: It’s time to reaffirm your desire to LIVE.

Because of your health problems, this will mean making changes that will be lifelong. Ask your doctor for a referral to a registered dietitian who can guide you in making those adjustments, and when you have your first consultations, bring your sabotaging relatives with you.

When they deliberately tempt you to stray from this lifesaving program, they are encouraging you to risk your life. If they are unwilling to get on board, then THEY — not you — should move out.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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