Dear Eric: My son-in-law’s father does not seem to feel the need to trim his nose hair which is quite bushy and hangs out of his nose. Apparently, his wife has asked him to do something about this, but he chooses to ignore her and neither of his sons want to talk to him about it even though it bothers them too.
We host Thanksgiving at our house each year and, while I don’t particularly care for this couple, I have always invited them to join us. I do this to make things easier for my daughter, so she doesn’t have to trek to both our homes. I realize she could also alternate holidays, but to be honest, I would miss celebrating Thanksgiving with her and my son-in-law and grandkids, so I have just sucked it up each year and try not to get grossed out at the dinner table.
Is there an alternative solution I haven’t thought of? I’m assuming it would not be appropriate for me to make the request that he trim his nose hair before coming over
– Grossed Out
Dear Grossed Out: Often, we work through major and minor holiday conflicts and quibbles by reminding ourselves, “it’s only one day.” Sometimes that works. Other times… one day is too much. And, in a case like yours, it’s not just one day; it’s the cumulation of years of one days. In short, you’ve had your fill of nose hair.
Alas, short of changing the seating arrangements so that you’re never catching a glance at it, I think your hands are tied as long as he remains on the invitation list. This, like so many other aspects of people’s bodies, falls into the category of personal preference. It’s not endangering him or others. While nose hairs, in general, trap dirt and pollen, overly long nose hair can accumulate debris and cause problems if not properly maintained. But it sounds like that’s not the concern here.
If he’s unmoved by his wife and kids’ requests, I daresay that your ask will probably also go unanswered. You mentioned that you don’t really care for the couple anyway, so your energy may be better spent focusing on enjoying your grandkids, your son and your daughter-in-law.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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