COMMENT | CONSTANCE KICONCO | She came crying. “Auntie Connie, I am not what they think I am. A boy wrote me a letter, and I ignored it. Later, he sent WhatsApp messages. He got my number from my friend. My mother found the letter, and now she thinks badly of me. Even the school knows. I can’t study. I just want to hide. But I am innocent.”
This is what silence creates. When parents avoid conversations about love, attraction, and sexuality, children are left confused and unprepared. So when a simple crush or letter comes along, it feels overwhelming. Instead of guiding, we sometimes misunderstand.
Let’s be honest: many of us also had crushes. We also received letters. Some still remember envelopes sprayed with perfume. But our parents didn’t give us harsh labels. Why then should our children carry the weight of words that wound instead of guidance that helps them grow?
Silence is not wisdom. If we don’t talk to our children, TikTok will. Friends will. The streets will. And those voices may not carry the love and care that we have for them. Sex education is not corruption—it is preparation. It helps children understand their feelings, manage boundaries, and build self-respect.
The real danger comes when we finally speak—not to teach, but to criticize. Labels like “malaya” or “spoiled” don’t protect children; they hurt them. Some withdraw in fear, and others push back in rebellion. Later, when things go wrong, we ask, “What happened?” Yet often, the pain began with silence or words spoken in anger.
We must remember: the children we are raising today will one day raise others. They are watching us to learn how to parent, how to guide, and how to decide. What lessons are we giving if every mistake is met with shame instead of wisdom?
Parents, let’s speak with our children, not at them. Let’s use words that strengthen, not words that weaken. Let’s walk with them now before the world pulls them away. With love and openness, we can build trust—so our children will always know where to turn when they are unsure.
Kiconco Constance aka. Connie is a dedicated Child and Adolescent Mental Health Therapist with certifications in: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Child Psychology, Addiction and Substance Abuse Treatment, and Suicide and Violent Behaviour Studies. She has hands-on experience at Mulago Adolescent Clinic, Mulago and Nsambya Hospital T1D clinics, where she provides psychosocial support and counseling to young people facing a range of mental health challenges. Her work is grounded in empathy, structured care, and a passion for emotional wellness and community transformation.
kiconcoconnie@gmail.com
