The Procrastinator’s Library By Kerwin Eloise

This column was supposed to have been a rumination on fatherhood and its modern experiences after the weekend. However, the perverse and insidious attitudes of the animal called man has caused a ‘u’ turn and for me to examine the concept of rape culture and the pervasive ways it has infiltrated our society.

The video circulating around has been seen as another case of another fast girl enticing a man into relations, when they know he is weak. The reality is that it is just another way in which the culture of rape and patriarchy has become a part of our psyche. The idea of fast girls is a misnomer, a myth. Much of the fast girl ideology comes from the oversexualization of children, with the adultification of them in the one area they have no ability to act as adults in. As someone who spends time around children, no matter how adult they may act, their language and thought patterns will eventually reveal how childlike they are.

Only a depraved man could see it in himself to be enticed or find some appeal in a prepubescent child. Too often rape culture often lays the blame at the foot of the victim and excuses the misdeeds of the person who had committed the act. It is often quick to suggest that the weaker person, be it a child, man or woman had some superheroic powers that took advantage of the abuser.

It was perplexing to see men, and yes, they are men not boys or any other euphemism that we like to use to separate them from us because of their depravity and monstrous actions, defend the actions of other men and attach blame to everything else but the perpetrator. I have also long gone the other way from the multitude who often query if these monsters don’t have mothers or sisters or daughters to consider. When men kill or assault other men no one asks them to consider their brethren or their relation to other males as a consequence to their actions. So why do so in the case of women. A conscience is all a human being needs to determine the rightness or wrongness of an act. Our need to use proximity to a sex or gender as a reason for us to consider its terribleness is a terrible crutch that we use to excuse the behaviours of others or in attempts to try to rationalize them.

Sponsored | Article continues below

Much of this is often rooted in many of the misnomers we have about rape and sexual assault. First that rape or sexual assault is mainly about sex when it is often about exerting power. Thus, there is often the question of what was she wearing? Rape victims are predominantly women. Did she mislead him and how much was she drinking are asked whether openly or in closed social groups. (Particularly in this instance we must enquire how such conceits could ever be possible with the age of the child being referenced here.) Legally we need to understand that children cannot consent to sex with other children, far less grown men and women.

So, the idea of them wanting it as has been crudely relayed is both immoral and inconsequential. There is also the sense that we have prescribed how victims of acts should behave in the aftermath so when they don’t adhere to the flights of fantasy that we have kept in our minds, these ‘imperfect victims’ become cudgels to beat other victims with.

Additionally, the puritanical fascination with modesty is often a key aspect of perpetuating rap culture, this insistence that even in their own homes women need to be demure and modest because a guest may arrive. The anger in the faces of elders at young girls as they demand them to cover up their bodies when male family members are around is another aspect of what rape culture continues to do.

To blame the victims whilst absolving the perpetrators of their actions.

Sponsored | Article continues below

The question is not whether rape culture exists, it is whether we are implicit by our actions in perpetuating its continued existence. If so, we must stop it dead in its tracks.