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Your Morning Smile
“The Most Clueless Gringo in Costa Rica.”
(Note: While many of these could apply to both men and women, I’m using “he” here just for simplicity.) Actually, you can also change the country as well….
- He wears running shorts in downtown San José — even when he’s not running.
- He speaks to Ticos in English, and when they don’t understand, he just switches to louder English.
- He calls Costa Rican currency “Monopoly money.”
- He complains about the prices as he buys a $3 can of Campbell’s Pork and Beans, while ignoring local options at half the cost.
- He thinks “Going Native” means bathing once a week in his swimming pool.
- He throws toilet paper into the toilet instead of the waste bin in public restrooms, because the sign telling him not to is only in Spanish — which he can’t read.
- He sneaks behind tour groups in national parks so he can listen to the guide without actually paying.
- He visits Costa Rica in October, then complains there’s too much rain and not enough sun.
- Until he got here, he thought Costa Rica was an island.
- He believes every young Tica who smiles politely at him is secretly attracted to him.
- His idea of practicing Spanish is saying, “Buenos días, amor,” to the empleada who comes to clean his house.
- He brags — and complains — about how much he paid for his 80-inch flat screen TV.
- He lives in a gated community and only watches the same English-language TV shows he did back home.
- He says: “I don’t always drink, but when I do, I like to mention that it just isn’t as good as what I drink back home.”
He is… The Most Clueless Gringo in Costa Rica.
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