DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our house uses an electronic door code instead of a key and lock. Our relatives know the code, from times when they needed to access our home without us there — for instance, picking up supplies for us while we were in the hospital, or getting to the house before us for a dinner when the weather was bad.
Outside of times such as those, when is it acceptable for them to use the code?
GENTLE READER: None times. Because they then transform from helpful relatives to scary intruders.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: If someone comes downstairs in the morning, who should be the one to say “hello” (or “good morning,” etc.) first: the one already downstairs, or the one who comes down and enters the room?
Is it gender-specific? Say, the man comes downstairs and the woman is already there, or vice versa? Or does that even matter?
GENTLE READER: It does not. There is no hierarchy to saying “good morning.” Rather it is the responsibility of the first one who notices the other and preferably makes eye contact. Surprise greetings from behind when one is making hot coffee or bacon is not, Miss Manners assures you, as cute as you may think.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at work and I had to go to the washroom in a hurry. I happen to have a shy bladder.
A colleague of mine — not one I’m particularly close to — stood outside my stall and started telling me in detail about her latest medical issues and prescriptions.
I could not produce. This was extremely irritating. I had to wait until she finally left.
Why do people do that? Seems to me silence is golden in a public washroom, and privacy is the order of the day. How would you have handled the situation?
GENTLE READER: By saying, “Sorry, I’m having trouble hearing you. I will be better equipped to listen when I am finished in here.”
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
