Miss Manners: Is it too much to ask for an employer to respond, even if it’s to turn me down?

Miss Manners: What to do when a guest hijacks the dinner party
May 25, 2026

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Miss Manners: Is it too much to ask for an employer to respond, even if it’s to turn me down?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Back in February, I inquired about a job opening for the summer. I was invited to have an interview with my potential employer, whereupon we had a great conversation and he expressed interest in hiring me.

However, his season began before I was finished with college. He suggested that I keep in touch and that he would get back to me after I finished with my studies. I have attempted to do so.

I have now been home from college for two weeks. I have called and visited his office several times, and all I have gotten is his secretary, telling me that he has been very busy out in the field.

I find it hard to believe that he has been so busy over the last two weeks that he has been unable to make a two-minute phone call. Others, including another supervisor, have agreed with me.

Some of my friends have had similar issues with potential employers. Miss Manners, is it too much to ask for a company to inform those who are inquiring about a job that their services are not needed at this time?

GENTLE READER: Employers do now consider this too much to do. They may plead being short-staffed, but Miss Manners would think that they should consider the cost of giving their businesses bad reputations. It will be not only the ignored candidates who are offended and will move on, but those to whom they complain of such callous treatment.

• • •

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the grocery store in our town, there is a one-person ladies’ room. There’s no “Occupied” message on the door, just a doorknob that can be locked from the inside. When I go to use the bathroom, I turn the doorknob gently, and if it is locked, I go away and come back later. However, if I am IN the bathroom, it’s usual that the person who wants to use it tries the doorknob, then knocks loudly.

I always answer “I’ll be out as soon as I can,” but it embarrasses me to call that out to a stranger (rather than, say, to a member of my family in my own house).

It is obvious to the outside person that there is someone inside. I feel the knocking is rude, but I can’t do anything about that. Do I have to answer at all?

GENTLE READER: Not if you don’t mind listening to the desperate rattling of the door.

Miss Manners agrees that it is unseemly to have to report on your progress. All you need call out is, “Occupied!”

• • •

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it inappropriate to take fake flowers from arrangements after an event? For example, a birthday party or graduation?

GENTLE READER: It is wrong to strip the decor after attending an event unless asked to do so by the host. But Miss Manners would have thought that the whole justification for fake flowers is that they may be reused.

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