SINGAPORE: A Singaporean has revealed online that she is contemplating switching jobs after falling in love with her boss despite being married and having children herself, seeking advice on what she should do.
In a candid confession submitted to the SGWhispers platform, the woman described working under her supervisor for more than five years, during which she came to regard him as an exemplary mentor. She wrote that when she first joined the company, he provided her with numerous opportunities, supported her through mistakes, and was consistently willing to help.
“He was what every subordinate would ask for,” she said, noting that he never refused when she needed assistance and often guided her through both major responsibilities and smaller tasks.
Over time, their professional relationship included occasional lunches, with her boss frequently picking up the bill and even remembering her usual drink order. She also became someone he would confide in regarding work-related frustrations. At times, the pair would drive out together for meals during working hours.
She recalled small moments that stood out to her, including one instance when he placed his hand on her seat while reversing the car, which she said made her “heart flutter a lil.”
The woman also highlighted an incident during the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. While participating in a department activity, her boss advised her not to attend because she was pregnant. She chose to proceed, believing the setting was manageable, but the situation changed when a participant was later identified as a close contact and asked to leave midway. She said her boss reacted with concern and reprimanded her decision.
Despite colleagues often describing her as his “favourite,” she attributed this perception to her willingness to take on assigned work, including handling multiple projects at once.
As her career progressed, however, her reporting line shifted, and she began working more closely with another senior manager. This led to fewer interactions with her former boss. More recently, she said she noticed him spending significant time mentoring new hires, which left her feeling “a tad jealous.”
The woman added that the two recently spent nearly two hours catching up over lunch and coincidentally travelled to work together on the same train. However, she felt disappointed when he appeared not to remember parts of their previous conversation.
She emphasised that their relationship had remained strictly professional, with “no flirting, nothing sexual, nothing inappropriate,” and limited to interactions during working hours. The only physical contact she described was a moment when she grabbed his arm while they were crossing the road and realised traffic was moving against them.
Reflecting on her feelings, she acknowledged finding her own situation “ridiculous,” adding that she may have developed feelings for him without realising it. “It’s just a feeling that can’t be shared with anyone, and I just need a space to get it out,” she wrote.
Seeking advice on what might be the best course of action, she added, “I think I might be a little crazy to harbour such feelings. I’m having thoughts of leaving the company…I guess I should, right?”
Netizens advised her to bury her feelings and warned her that things would not end well if she pursued her boss. Many asked her to prioritise the well-being of her children.
One commenter noted that her feelings seemed one-sided and said she may not need to quit her job if she can manage her feelings better. The commenter wrote, “I’m pretty sure your boss only interact with you because of work, to help the company, which in return lower his workload. He sounds like a guy that focuses on work.
“I remember working and feel like my boss is closer to another colleague, and I got jealous too; it’s perfectly normal. As long as you don’t went out of your way to do something impulsive and just do the work that is task to you, I think it’s fine to stay in the company.”
Another commenter urged the woman to seek professional help, saying, “Sounds pretty one-sided to me. Put in effort at home and go for counselling, it is probably more feasible than giving up your job if you still enjoy the work.”
One netizen advised, “We will all fall in love or have crushes even after we are married. The important thing is to honour your vows and don’t do anything more don’t even think and luxuriate in your day dreams.”
Others, however, felt entertaining such thoughts was already akin to cheating. One commenter wrote, “Even if you never acted on them, simply holding those thoughts and feelings still counts as infidelity.”
Quite a few commenters warned that if she chooses to act on her feelings, it will be her children who will bear the brunt of her decision and asked if she was prepared to live with such a choice.
One netizen advised, “We are all humans. It’s natural to have feelings for the other while spending time together for a period of time. The problem is what you do with these feelings that matter. It could only be a crush, so acting out could proof fatal to him and to you. So I suggest to keep it to yourself instead. Don’t act out due to impulse.”
“Every words spoken and every actions taken will have its consequences. Are you ready to bear the full responsibilities of the fallout, not only for you, your family, his feelings and his family?” he questioned.
