Dear Annie: Five years ago, I lost my father to heart problems. Three months ago, I lost my mother after a terrible fall. I am 66, and I was her caregiver. I took early retirement at 62 so I could be there for her, and I do not regret it. But now that she is gone, I feel like the role I built my life around disappeared overnight, and I am not sure what I am supposed to be doing with all this quiet.

People have been kind, and I know they mean well, but I keep getting caught off guard when someone casually asks, “How’s your mom doing?” or “What happened?” I will be standing in the grocery store aisle, trying to act normal, and suddenly I am swallowing a lump in my throat and forcing a smile. I do not want to make other people uncomfortable, but I also do not want to pretend I am fine when I am not.