After an unholy number of good mornings – 468, to be precise – it’s time to say goodbye. I’m moving to an editing job here next week, so this is my final First Edition. It’s not exactly Dot Cotton leaving EastEnders, I know, but my hair and voice are very like hers at this time of day, so I hope you’ll allow me a sentimental leaving monologue all the same.

It’s a great job, this. You get to write about the most interesting story every day, and talk to whoever the best person is to help you explain it, or say why it’s being infuriatingly misunderstood. You also get to impose your jokes on a readership who could be forgiven for narrowing their eyes and scrolling to the Upside. (I do recommend today’s.)

Above all, you are blessed with a thoroughly charming set of colleagues. Nimo and Aamna have both written many brilliant pieces I wish I’d had the wherewithal to do myself, and been the most generous of allies in the early morning grind. The invisible hands of editors Charlie, Craille, Hannah, Poppy and our venerated overlord Toby – and Warren, Jonathan, Kate and others in Australia – have honed every idea, and tolerated panicked 6am texts much more often than anyone could reasonably expect.

The music is presumably playing quite frantically by now, so off I pop. Aamna, Martin Belam and Karen McVeigh will be taking the reins for the next while. Today’s newsletter looks back on a few of the lessons from the last three years. Thanks for reading, and here are the headlines.

Five big stories

1. ICC | The woman who has accused the prosecutor of the international criminal court of sexual abuse has been targeted by private intelligence firms as part of a covert operation said to have taken place on behalf of Qatar, the Guardian can reveal.

2. UK politics | Labour should stand by its manifesto commitment not to raise income tax, national insurance or VAT, its deputy leader, Lucy Powell, has said in a challenge that will put pressure on Rachel Reeves.

3. Prisons | A fraudster mistakenly released from prison this week has handed himself back in as a hunt continues for a convicted sex offender who was also accidentally freed.

4. UK news | The father of the Southport killer has said his son “turned out to be a monster” as he tearfully expressed regret for failing to tell police about the teenager’s weapons or his attempted attack on his former school.

5. Corporate pay | Tesla shareholders approved a $1tn compensation plan for CEO Elon Musk on Thursday, awarding the world’s richest man what would be the largest corporate payout in history if he meets the goals necessary to receive it.

In depth: ​Squirrel gifs, furious Tories and typing in the dark

468 days of me, only 49 days of Liz Truss. Photograph: Dylan Martinez/AP

To skim over several hundred newsletters in an hour-and-a-half is to be reminded of how thoroughly ephemeral quite a lot of the news is. I have to tell you, for example, that there is an absolutely blank space in my brain where “good reason for writing 1,100 words about the demise of the McDonald’s 99p burger” should be.

By and large, though, this has been an era of very big stories, and usually very dark ones. The remorseless intensification of the climate crisis; Hamas’ massacre on 7 October, and then a hardening expert consensus that Israel is committing genocide in Gaza; Ukraine; Sudan; Trump, and the normalisation of authoritarians worldwide; ascendant populists, stumbling centrists and bickering leftists in the UK; unending economic gloom and the barely regulated rise of AI. At least I got to cover Zohran Mamdani’s victory in New York before turning off my big red alarm clock for good.

Through all of these subjects, and some mercifully less serious ones, a number of themes have stood out. Here’s a parting reminder of a few of them.

The best guides to stories are often the ones who come at it sideways

The architect Eyal Weizman wasn’t the most direct interviewee on Donald Trump’s suggestion of turning Gaza into a US-run “Riviera of the Middle East”, but I’m very grateful to the friend who suggested I try him, because he has the kind of brain that makes you feel smarter just by listening to him speak. I loved hearing from BBC Monitoring’s Francis Scarr about watching 500 hours of Russian state TV – and texting with an anonymous banker about why markets took a “chat shit, get banged” view of Liz Truss’s mini-budget.

It is not, by and large, an era that has been kind to knowledge found on the margins – and obviously a lot of the time the right interviewee definitely is the reporter who knows the story inside out. Still, quite a lot of my favourite newsletters have been of this sort, with people whose expertise nibbles at the edges of the news instead of feasting on it: all the other stuff they bring to bear inevitably enlivens their thinking, and the insights I can pass off as my own as a result.

Anonymous online ideologues are defining the political moment

Obsession is a cruel word, but I have definitely been preoccupied with the extraordinary ability of the “extremely online right” to drive political discourse this year: from grooming gangs to Motability to the so-called ‘Boriswave’, this radical online subculture isn’t just influencing the right – it’s shaping a Labour government’s policy choices.

If Reform wins the next election, my hunch is that the ability of these guys to bend the debate to their will – and the inability of their counterparts on the left to do the same thing – will be an under-appreciated factor. Put it on your bingo card, folks.

If you haven’t noticed the prejudice facing disabled people, you’re not paying attention

I’m a bit sheepish to mention my son’s disability yet again, recalling the old joke: how do you know if someone hasn’t got a television/runs marathons/went to Glastonbury/turned down a knighthood? Because they bloody tell you! Still, my family’s self-interest serves a larger purpose here, I think: it made me aware, shamefully late in life, that the disadvantages endured by disabled people are one of the burning injustices of the age.

We covered the Tory abandonment of the ministerial portfolio for disability and Labour’s doomed attempt to hack away at crucial benefits; the problems with treating disabled people as sources of “inspiration porn”; the insulting idea that anybody trying to get their disabled kid a decent education is pursuing a “golden ticket”; and the grotesque inequalities in outcome for disabled children depending on the accident of their birth. We still probably didn’t do anything like enough. If you would take good care of my hobby horse and pay close attention to the government’s looming Send reform white paper, I would consider it a personal favour.

Squirrel gifs do numbers

Photograph: Archie Bland

The First Edition mailbag was seldom fuller than when we told you the full story of the above visitor to my kitchen.

British politics will never feel as mad as it did in autumn 2022 (right???)

Look, I’m not saying Labour is projecting an image of unity, competence or rousing political vision; but at least nobody’s telling journalists that their party has a bad case of the “loser brain worms”. First in self-inflicted economic collapse, then in gobsmacking public recrimination and the defenestration of the prime minister, the Truss-era Tories will be very hard to beat.

I had the dubious honour of covering the mini-budget fallout, the absolutely insane day of Suella Braverman’s resignation – memory-holed that one, did you? – and the macabre spectacle of the party’s MPs turning on each other at party conference, through the sophisticated device of ranking which of them were most frothingly enraged. Still, I wisely thought, at least radical rightwing economic prescriptions with little care for fiscal reality will now be ruled out for a generation!

Everyone likes a list

70 facts about the late Queen, for her platinum jubilee; 71 facts about King Charles, to mark his ascent to the throne; 43 times the Tories failed to stop small boats crossing the Channel; and, across three universally cherished Christmas issues in which I imposed my unreasonable personal prejudices in the guise of seasonal goodwill, 69 things that were just extremely annoying. (We had 17 in 2022 and 38 last year, but look, we all know there’s been an inflation crisis.)

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To those of you wondering whether a serious daily news email should really be stealing the tricks of glossy magazine coverlines about sex positions and skincare solutions, I merely ask: how would you otherwise have known that Queen Elizabeth II’s corgi once bit the ankle of a royal clockwinder? And think of this: I could have signed off with a list of everything I loved about this demented job. We’d have been here all day.

What else we’ve been reading

Fortnite x Simpsons. Photograph: Epic Games

• The Simpsons: Hit & Run is one of my favourite ever video games, unleashing hilarious vehicle-based chaos in cartoon Springfield. Matthew Reynolds reviews the much-anticipated Fortnite x Simpsons collab, which will tempt me to pick up my PS5 controller again. Martin Belam, newsletters team

• The electoral consequences of political fragmentation have been well rehearsed – but, writes Andy Beckett, the fallout may be much wider, leaving “little in the once stable and predictable world of British politics may remain as it was”. Archie

• Jonathan Liew looks at the fallout from Mary Earps’s book – as the Lionesses’ Euro-winning keeper seems to have found several new ways to lose friends and annoy people. Everyone insists it has all been terribly unfortunate, but they have also very much enjoyed talking about it at length. Martin

• Ashifa Kassam has an essential piece on the European precedents for Zohran Mamdani’s supposedly radical policy agenda in New York. She quotes a Dutch former government adviser: “Here, taking care of one another through public programs isn’t radical socialism. It’s Tuesday.” Archie

• Peter Bradshaw is very funny on the alarming precedent set by a new zero-star TV review, and how the awfulness of Kim Kardashian’s All’s Fair might mean that “critics will have to issue a new star rating system, like the new French franc in 1960.” Archie

Sport

Aston Villa’s Ian Maatsen scores a first goal against Tel Aviv. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Action Images/Reuters

Football | Aston Villa had little trouble securing a 2-0 home win against Maccabi Tel Aviv, while on the sidelines six people were arrested during protests after Tel Aviv fans were banned on safety grounds from attending the Europa League match. Nottingham Forest were held to a 0-0 draw at Sturm Graz, while in Denmark, Celtic suffered a humbling 3-1 defeat to Midtjylland.

Tennis | With their straight-sets wins, Aryna Sabalenka and Jessica Pegula will join Amanda Anisimova and Elena Rybakina in the semi-finals of the WTA finals in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

Football | The Guardian understands that Thomas Tuchel will recall Jude Bellingham to the England squad, after his unexpected exclusion in October became something of a media circus.

Something for the weekend

Our critics’ roundup of the best things to watch, read, play and listen to right now

A fantasist, a liar and a serial non-payer of bills … Charles Guiteau (Matthew Macfadyen) in Death by Lightning. Photograph: Netflix

TV
Death by Lightning | ★★★★☆
“My name,” says Charles Guiteau (Matthew Macfadyen), the anti-hero of this punchy four-part historical miniseries, “will be known one day all across this country!” Guiteau was, until now, wrong. He tried to insert himself into history by assassinating the US president, James Garfield, in 1881 – but Garfield was only four months into his tenure, so all Guiteau did was turn them both into difficult pub quiz answers. Death by Lightning pays careful tribute to Garfield but its focus is Guiteau – a fantasist, a liar and a serial non-payer of bills who has no skills or vocation beyond relentless self-promotion. Macfadyen is brilliant in every awful moment. Jack Seale

Film
The Choral | ★★★★☆
Alan Bennett’s new film, directed by Nicholas Hytner, is about men in a fictional Yorkshire town during the first world war who are variously too old or too young to fight, and the women who have to deal with the menfolk’s repressed emotions and their own. The place is upended by the arrival of Dr Guthrie (Ralph Fiennes) who is to be the choirmaster, directing the music society’s annual production. A deeply felt drama which subcontracts actual passion to the music of Elgar and leaves us with a heartbeat of wit, poignancy and common sense. Peter Bradshaw

Art
David Hockney: Some Very, Very, Very New Paintings Not Yet Shown in Paris | ★★★★☆
At 88 years old, Hockney is still painting, still innovating, and still having shows. This exhibition at Annely Juda Fine Art, London, is packed with paintings so new you can almost smell the wet paint. These new works are almost shockingly unsteady but still immediately, recognisably him. It makes for an affecting experience – we’re watching one of the great artists of modern times age in front of our eyes. Eddy Frankel

The front pages

Photograph: Guardian

The Guardian leads with “Powell in challenge to Reeves over tax plans”. The i has “Labour splits at the top as new deputy leader tells Reeves: don’t raise income tax and break trust”. The Times says “Income tax will go up, Reeves tells watchdog”. The Financial Times reports “Key rate kept on hold at 4% in knife-edge BoE decision”.

The Sun looks at the former-Prince, Andrew’s, summons before a US congressional panel with “Tell us what you know, Windsor”. The Telegraph continues to cover claims of bias at the BBC, reporting “Davie must explain or quit, says Johnson”. The Mail follows the same story with “What double standards!”

The Upside

A bit of good news to remind you that the world’s not all bad

Photograph: Archie Bland

It’s a much-delayed First Edition debut for my lovable doughnut of a dog, Quincy, who once scarfed down a mysterious lump he found in the park without a second thought and then sat like this for a remarkably long time once we got home. The lump, as we learned after an extortionate visit to the emergency vet, was cannabis. He’s fine now, and has never arranged himself on the sofa like it’s a bar at the end of a long afternoon session since. None of this was exactly an upside for him, but I hope the video is a suitable parting gift, and an obvious silver lining for the rest of us.

Bored at work?

And finally, the Guardian’s puzzles are here to keep you entertained throughout the day. Until Monday.