DEAR MISS MANNERS: A co-worker invited a few people and their spouses over to watch a popular sporting event. After everyone in the office bombarded him with questions about what to bring, he insisted we bring nothing. Never having met his wife or having been to his home, I brought a seasonal hand soap as a small thank-you for hosting us.
They both laughed at the gesture. In fact, it was a running gag between them for much of the evening, saying things like, “Thank goodness we have enough soap!” or “Maybe we should all wash our hands.”
I smiled along with them, but thought such a reaction was odd. My spouse brought beer, which was shared among the guests without jokes.
To avoid such a situation in the future, should I no longer bring a hostess gift to gatherings?
GENTLE READER: Hostess gifts are not the requirement they were once commonly considered, and Miss Manners would definitely dispense with them if the hosts are only going to ridicule you for your efforts.
Come to think of it, she would not be inclined to socialize with such people.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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