Dear Annie: I waited for my daughter’s cat to die, then gave them an ultimatum; was I wrong?

Mostly Sunny
November 1, 2025

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Dear Annie: I waited for my daughter’s cat to die, then gave them an ultimatum; was I wrong?

Dear Annie: My wife and I visit our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter two or three times a year for about three days each visit. It’s a five- to six-hour drive for us. Both my wife and I have severe asthma primarily from cat allergies, and we struggle with wheezing and irritated eyes every time we visit. My SIL has cat allergies, too.

Recently, their cat died (finally), and I urged my daughter to consider not getting another one. I explained our situation clearly, stating that if she did so, we’d have to stay at a hotel or B&B during future visits. She just got two more cats.

What would you think? — Allergic and Angry

Dear Allergic: How your daughter and her husband balance having cats with his allergies is their business. But asking her not to get more pets simply for your sake isn’t fair.

Staying with them might be convenient, but that’s only a handful of days each year. If having two cats brings her joy, she’s free to have them, just as you’re free to book a hotel, pack your inhalers and stock up on allergy meds. Win-win.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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